Sucess, Failure and Soup

When I first imagined life with my new Princess, I expected the first several months to be many ups and downs, and plenty of sleepless nights. Now, almost four years later, it's supposed to be mostly balanced. By now, most children are sleeping through the night, perhaps different times for bedtimes, different struggles to get there; but by the time they're out, that's it until morning.

4:00 am is a time where most are usually asleep. The only real activity amongst the family is deep breathing, and perhaps some snoring. Not in my house. Usually, at that hour, there are at least two members of our household up. The Princess and myself. Depending on the night, it could be pleasant, or it could be miserable. There could be many ups and downs, or there could only be a few. The one constant is that there is almost always someone awake in this house at all times. As I'm sure you've assumed by now, our first attempt at night time meds aren't working as effectively as we'd like.

The first week was great, from there we went straight down hill. The other night was probably the first time that the Princess had woken both the King and I. It was a particularly tumultuous night. The day before was a rough one. Paired with little sleep, and two royals who simultaneously felt the need to scream at the mommy all day, I was in tears by the time the King got home. This happens sometimes, but with the extra pair of hands, things went smoother and eventually everything was peaceful. Until 3:00 AM.

That's when it started. It started similarly to every other late night. The Princess is screaming, I try to change her, get her some milk and a movie. This was not enough for her, and that's when some head banging began. My nerves already shot, that was the final straw, and the tears started flowing again. I attempted to feed her, attempted to get her to calm down, but to no avail. The King decided to step in to lend a helping hand.

When usually the Princess sees her daddy, she's immediately all smiles, this night was different. She kept going right back to the wall to commence head banging. When he tried to redirect her, she went to a different wall. It came time to try to protect her from herself, and he fought to keep her in a hug with him. She's strong. Honestly, when she's in these moods, my only hope is to get between her and the wall. There's no way I can get her to stay in one spot.

Finally, we were able to get things settled down once more, and after reflecting with the King, I realized-- Probably for the very first time-- how lost he really felt in all of this. He's always held this stoic attitude, and perhaps so have I. For the first time I saw his vulnerability in not knowing how to deal with our autistic Princess. It was heart breaking, and heart warming all at once.

We both woke up sleep deprived the next morning, but honestly, I rather see him in a new light these days. He, like me, is just doing the best he can. That's all we can do. That and find extra things to channel the frustration that come with the hurdles. To channel my extra frustration lately, I've been cooking. It's funny because at one point, the word "domestic" in any way was akin to a four letter word. Never let it be uttered, lest it summon up something as unholy as, say Beetlejuice. I digress.

What I've realized is that for me, cooking has become an outlet. My "do-over" button. Life to me trying to raise a Princess with autism is like a series of attempts and failures. I attempt to get her to eat something else, I fail. I attempt to get her to sleep at night, I fail. With each new attempt, I hit another brick wall. Cooking though, I can follow the guidelines, I can experiment. Usually if I fail, I can pinpoint an exact step in which I failed, to correct and be successful later.

As selfish as I feel to say it, it helps boost my confidence. I love the fact that after all of my effort, I can taste it and be proud that I created this. The look on the Prince's face as he eats and enjoys each new menu item warms my heart. So much better than baby food. This is the confidence I think I've needed to continue to push forward and attempt and fail. Eventually, though I wont fail. There will always be small successes, and big successes. Small failures and big failures. Each as significant as the other. In the meantime, between the successes and the failures, I will cook.

"You're Doing a Great Job"

Hello there, Lovelies. I know, it's been a while. It's been crazy busy, I swear we go through these cycles that last for a few weeks of chaos, then back to our "normal routine" whatever that may be these days. So what's been keeping me so busy, you may ask? Well, I recently had to have a tooth pulled, our washing machine broke down and on top of all of that, we were still struggling with sleep issues. Don't cry for me, Lovelies. The truth is most of these things are solved now. Most.

So finally, I made the appointment with the Princess' doctor to address the sleep issues. Due to lack of a car, I had to bring both of the Royals with me. I normally prefer to find a babysitter for the one whom the appointment isn't for, but when it comes down to it, you have to do what you have to do. Seeing as how it's the first week of preschool for the Princess, it's more important now than ever to really get these sleep issues under control. So, as usual, I planned my outing down to the very tiniest detail I could.

I made sure to find the diagnosis paperwork, should the doctor's office need it. I pre-packed everything I could. I couldn't find my purse, so I used my son's backpack. Yep, I was the mom carrying a backpack that was clearly for one of her children.-- My hubby later told me that he had found my purse, it has slipped behind the washer. Where it still sits.-- Everything was going according to plan. OK, maybe not fully according to plan, we were about ten minutes late to the appointment.

We arrive at the doctor's office, and I get the Prince out first. I set him on the seat while I work towards getting the Princess out of hers. When I did, I set her down so I could pick up the Prince-- My first mistake-- the Princess tried to bolt. I grabbed her, and we made our way into the parking garage to the elevator. The Princess had never stepped onto an elevator before, and that tiny gap between the car and the floor of the platform really threw her off. Carefully, she did. Riding in the elevator, she stared at the floor that she could tell was moving under her, but the room didn't look like it. I couldn't help but giggle at the wonder on her face.

We get into the office, and the first thing she does is start running back and forth. I checked us into our appointment, all while keeping an eye on my little lady. It was an hour long wait to get back to the examination room. All the while, the Princess was running. I had tried a few times-- To no avail.-- to get her to sit next to her brother on one of the chairs. At some point I was finally successful, but I had to kneel in front of both of them to keep them entertained.-- By the way, if you were in the office that day, and I blocked your path, I am truly sorry.-- another little girl, no older than 5 years old sat on the other side of the Prince and smiled at me and the Royals.

Eventually, the Prince demanded to be picked up, and once that happened getting the Princess to sit in one spot is next to impossible. So she started running. Someone left the door to the back rooms open, she noticed. Within seconds, she had run into the back offices. You bet, I was the mom who then carried my youngest in my arms while running after her. I got a friendly smile from the nurse, and I asked which way to go to get back to the waiting room. After giving me directions she said, "You've got your hands full, huh?"

What I wanted to say was, "Nah, just getting my exercise." or something equally as sarcastic, yet positive. All that came out was, "Just a little."

Upon re-entering the waiting room, of course the Princess started running again. The same little girl from earlier decided that it looked like fun, and ran after her. Too cute for words. Finally, we were called back to a room. The usual steps happen, lets check weight. Of course they wanted her shoes to come off, and of course she ran to a supply room before I had a chance to catch her. I set the Prince down, and retrieved her. Got her shoes off, then got her weight.

Next, height. Stand against the wall. As I'm trying to position her, there goes the Prince, attempting to go exploring. Thankfully the sweet nurse did get him, and we got her height-- 3'4", I might add.-- then she bolted down the hallway. Suddenly feeling a pull between the Prince who was right there wanting to explore, and the Princess who is now down the hallway already exploring, I made the quickest decision possible. To chase after the Princess. Finally I caught up to her and got her back, and we were on our way to a room. Thankfully the nurse carried the Prince.

Once in the room, the basics are covered as well, check her blood pressure, get a bit of the "why" we are here today, heart rate, etc. The Prince decided this is the point where he is going to start screaming. I try to change him, no luck. He wont take his bottle, he just wants to scream in my ear. The Princess is going back and forth on being moody, or happy. The nurse finishes her duties and informs me the doctor will be in shortly. While we are alone, I work towards getting both kids settled. Graham cracker for the Prince. He's still not happy. Toys for the Princess-- Yes, I did pack several-- I hear the knock on the door and the doctor comes in.

The Prince is still crying in my arms, and the Princess is losing her cool very quickly. She sees the doctor's laptop and wants to play. When she's denied, that is it. We go into full blown tantrum mode.-- Which is kind of a good thing, because she doesn't generally do this in public, but having the doctor see it was key.-- The Princess went down the list of all of the behaviors: Head banging, heel kicks to the floor, squeezing things-- like my arm, or her stuffed animal.-- All the while the Prince is still screaming in my ear, and the doctor is asking me questions, and giving me tips as to next steps to take for a medical diagnosis-- Yes, we currently have an educational one, that covers her preschool. Once we have a medical diagnosis, I will make sure to let you all know of the difference--  and I am busy bouncing back and forth between children to try to calm both.

The Prince was tired. He eventually fell asleep on my shoulder. We wrapped up the appointment with a sleeping medicine prescription having been sent in to the pharmacy. On the doctor's way out, she told me, "You're doing a great job." Man, those five words meant all the world to me in that moment. I wont go into all the details of getting the Royals packed up and out the door, as I'm pretty sure this post is long enough. I will say, however, that upon getting back into the car and taking my first breath, I looked down and yep. I found the graham cracker from earlier. Down my shirt.

So yes, I was the stereotypical frazzled mom, chasing after one toddler while carrying the other. Clearly overwhelmed. The thing that made it all better was getting the affirmation that I was doing a great job. So to you, Mom in the grocery store with the child having a meltdown because you denied them the sugary cereal or candy bar or toy, you're doing a great job. To you, the parent driving the car while your children scream at you and you try desperately to keep your cool to drive safely, you're doing a great job. To all moms, dads, caregivers, guardians: You're doing a great job.

Nap Time

Good evening, Lovelies. I guess morning. It's about 4:30 am here, and I've been up for an hour. At 11 pm, I just couldn't keep my eyes open. By 3:30 am, I was up with the little royals again. What a wonderful nap. Now I sit here drinking my hot chocolate-- After an agonizing hour of battling with myself whether or not to make coffee. I opted for not yet. That could change.

Sleeping issues are something that have been quite prevalent in my world lately, and frankly, it sucks. The Prince would be easy enough-- In theory-- to wake up after a late night, deprive him of a nap and regulate his schedule. He sleeps. When he does finally go down for bedtime, he is out for eight or nine hours. With anywhere from a two to three hour nap in the middle. This is what the King and many others have recommended. To be completely honest, the only reason I don't do it is because I'm exhausted. Usually on those late nights, I've been up with the Prince AND the Princess. When I do finally buck up and bear it, I'm certain this will most likely be successful. Again, he sleeps. The Princess naps.

That is quite literally the only explanation I can give. When she sleeps, she sleeps anywhere from two to four hours at a time, and that's it. She'll be up for hours afterwards. Then down for two to four hours, rinse and repeat.

A real example of her sleeping schedule the last week or so-- We'll start from going to bed:

10:00 pm-11:00 pm: Falls asleep after a busy day.
1:00 am-2:00 am: Awake, usually in need of a diaper change and to eat two jars of food.
4:30 am-6:00 am: (This one varies) Eat two more jars of food and fall asleep.
9:30 am-11:00 am: Awake for the day.

Gosh, seeing that written out is almost a little depressing to me. Especially when I think of the earlier days of our existence with our Princess. She was an amazing sleeper. I couldn't have asked for an easier baby on that front. From about 2.5 months she started sleeping in her own bed, in her own room. Through the night. OK, I lied. We'd wake once through the night, requiring a bottle; then right back to bed until morning. It wasn't until she was about 2 years old that she started regressing, and I haven't seen those easy days since.
I've tried everything. I've tried night time routine. I've tried Melatonin-- On doctor's orders. I've tried herbal tea that promotes sleep. It's supposed to be amazing stuff. Maybe I'll try it next time I get non-children induced insomnia. With her, I tried to sneak it into her bottle. First I tried the mixture the same ratio as I do water to milk in her cups. That did not go over well. A few hours later-- And a trusted bottle later-- I tried two droplets of the tea-- Lemon ginger, for those wondering-- in her normal drink. Apparently, it's the little things and she still refused. So here I sit with tea and melatonin and a very awake Princess.

The King made a comment to me last night before I crashed. Something about it not being healthy to adapt to this nocturnal schedule like I am. I don't disagree with him. I sense where it's hitting my health. Beyond being exhausted and bags under my eyes, I've noticed some digestion issues. My temper is a little shorter than I'd like. I get random twitches and ticks. I know that if I were to consistently get enough sleep, that will all change. It makes me think though. If lack of sleep is doing all of this to me and my typically functioning body, what is it doing to the Princess'?

I know part of her sleeping issues are her all-fruit-all-the-time-diet. All that sugar, natural or not, can't possibly be good for her. She just wont even LOOK at anything else. Any other option at this moment is public enemy number one in the Princess' eyes. But I wonder if maybe we were able to get her to sleep, maybe we'll be able to get over the dietary issues. And the behavioral issues. Maybe that babbling stringing together that's starting to sound like sentences will become sentences. Maybe, just maybe.

So how do I do this, you may ask? How am I going to possibly get the Princess to sleep? I don't know. I do know that with the school year quickly approaching, I need to do something. Her doctor had mentioned getting her on a sleep aid at one point. First we would try melatonin to reset her internal clock. It didn't work. I haven't gotten her on any other sleep aids yet. I've heavily thought on it, and truthfully I maybe should have already just done it. I just haven't been ready yet. Something about giving my almost four year old a sleep aid almost feels selfish to me. Like I'm drugging her so that I can get some shut eye. If I can just keep wading through these nights, maybe I'll get my amazing sleeper back.

I know it sounds silly. I do. I can't help it. I am facing the reality that in fact I might be helping her.  As the King said, it's not healthy to have this sleep schedule. Maybe this is just one more thing to buck up and bear.

Starting Over

Happy Monday, Lovelies! I hope you all had wonderful weekends! Our weekend wasn't a bad one, but it didn't involve much sleep. Lately, most nights have been consistent of night owl children-- I know I've mentioned it before, and from the looks of things, this wont be the last time-- and then they sleep all day. It's not my favorite process, but I can deal. So on Saturday night, I decided to call it a night at about 11:00 pm. Three hours later I woke up to the hubby crawling into bed. It always amazes me how he can go from zero to snoring in less than 60 seconds, but I digress. No sooner do I hear the snoring does the Prince start crying.

Not just crying, but screaming. At this point, the Princess is sleeping so I attempt to calm the Prince before that slumber is disturbed. No matter what I tried; cuddling, rocking, a new bottle or toy, nothing was working. He would just start crying again the second I tried to set him down. My last ditch effort was to feed him some graham crackers-- a personal favorite of his-- and try to get him down again. Though he is not crying anymore, he does stay up to play for another hour or so. By 4:00 am, I am exhausted. Fifteen minutes later, he is finally asleep. I crawl back into bed and try to close my eyes, but as it turns out, the soothing sound of snoring isn't so soothing after all. After tossing and turning for who knows how long, I start to feel that familiar pull of dream land.

It seems I've only slept seconds when I start to hear crying from the Princess' room. I shut my eyes tighter, hoping that somehow that will make the sound stop. It doesn't, shockingly enough. It's 4:30 am by the time I look at the clock, and my alarm is the sound of the Princess screaming. I go into her room and change her diaper, dodging kicks coming my direction. I try to get her a new movie and tell her that it's still bedtime. As the level of her crying increases, so does my frustration level. I decide quiet time in her room might do her some good, as sometimes this is the only way for her to calm down and relax.

After what seems like hours-- which was mere minutes, really-- the crying hasn't ceased. She kicks the walls and floor as she goes. Her face is beat red from all of her screaming, I know she's hungry, but she's worked herself into such a frenzy that she refuses a bite of her favorite food. All the while the crying, kicking and screaming doesn't stop. I start to yell, I'm so mad. Mostly because I just don't know what to do. I break down in tears myself. 'I just want sleep!' I think to myself. Then it dawns on me.

It isn't her fault that we're going through this cycle. Sure, she was probably woken up by the Prince, and when she found it to be dark and she had a wet diaper, she just wasn't happy. She wasn't the reason I had been up since 2:00 am. We were just feeding off of each other. I'm sure that my face reflected her beat red status. As I looked into my daughter's tear filled eyes, I resolved that I would change this. At this point I was still struggling to feed her. I took a deep breath.

"You and I, baby girl are tired. It's still dark outside. Let's end this cycle we're in and start over. Fresh. A brand new day." I don't know if the words were for her benefit or mine, but I said them anyway. While she had stopped screaming, I could tell that she was apprehensive. So I resolved to lead by my actions.
I wiped my eyes dry, slapped a smile on my face and started singing to her. I have no idea what I sang to her, I'm pretty sure I just put words randomly together to a tune. As we got through the first jar of food, her face wasn't red anymore. By the end of the second jar, she was smiling and giggling with me. The rest of the morning went really well after that, I'm happy to say.

The Princess eventually went down for a nap around 10:00 am. Shortly after, the Prince woke up. It seems that they effectively tag teamed an all nighter. So yeah, if you see a zombified woman on the streets who looks like she can't hold her head up, pay her no mind. That's just me. But pass the coffee, will you?

The Inevitable Question

Hello, hello, my Lovelies!  I remember in the days before the Princess was born, I tried to plan to the best of my ability. I would imagine various scenarios, how I'd play them out to their solutions and think to myself, "I hope I do it right."

Then, after she was born, in all of her newborn freshness, I'd wonder if I was doing it right. Silently, I'd hover any time I heard a sound. I would over analyze every cry. Every diaper change, every bath, every mealtime; I'd have a new question. Ultimately, I would simply say to myself, "I hope I'm getting it right."

As the Princess got older, however, my world and thoughts began to shift. I started to notice as her peers were quickly surpassing her in many milestones. One by one, they began to roll, crawl, stand and eventually walk. All the while, the Princess is still content to lay there. Now at first, this was very easy to ease my own nerves with the usual "Every child develops differently," and "She still has time to catch up."

Slowly even that was hard to swallow, as I noticed the gross motor skills weren't the only ones that she was lacking. I watched as other children held their bottle, explored items with their mouths, babbled, started eating solids and eventually moved on to table foods. The Princess wasn't having any of that. As far as holding her own bottle went, she seemed to have the attitude of "Why should I if you're going to hold it for me?" Eating foods was a new battle all together, and I realized quickly she was picky. Always preferring fruits to veggies, though a few sweeter veggies were OK. With each struggle, with each milestone that I'd watch others pass-- And she seemed content where she was-- I'd ask myself a new question: "What am I doing wrong?"

I couldn't fathom that my child was the one and only child on the planet who didn't like chocolate milk. Or why she simply wouldn't even try a new variety of food. Even before then, "What am I doing wrong?" plagued my existence. With the questions from friends and family members pouring in each time we saw them-- And the subsequent advice that almost always followed-- my world was crashing down, and all I could think was, "What am I doing wrong?"

I listened to all the advice. I kept trying new things. I put a brave face on every time I went out. Eventually, I really didn't want to go out much. The questions I'd get from those around me-- While varied in wording,-- rarely ever changed. "Is she holding her bottle yet?"-- That was a "No," until close to a year.-- "Is she sitting up yet?"-- "No," until about her first birthday.-- "Is she crawling?"-- "Nope," Until shortly after her first birthday.

That's where she stalled. For a long time. All the while, that same hauntingly annoying question followed me wherever I went. In the meantime, she became a very adept crawler. She got just about anywhere she wanted to be that way. She was quick too. But pulling herself up to a stand just didn't seem to appeal to her. In fact, she wouldn't pull herself to stand until shortly before her second birthday. Walking was later still, at about two and a half. With each passing day of working with her, wondering what could I possibly be doing wrong?

Trying to get her to eat table foods, well, I still can't. Some days, I wonder if she'll be packing little jars of baby food in her backpack each day well into middle school. I know that's not going to happen, but even I admit I worry.

I now know the "why" we've had all of this difficulty. I know it's not my fault, or something that I did or didn't do. I know it's not her either, or any type of choice that she may have made. It doesn't change the fact that the question still haunts me. That each time I hear "Is she eating table food yet?" makes me feel just a little smaller and smaller each time. I know it's not me. It's just a member of the family that hitched a ride with the Princess. One that came unannounced and shows no signs of packing up and going. His name is Autism, and he likes to make things more difficult for all of us.

Don't worry, we'll work around the little fiend. We'll find a way to show him that he is not who the Princess is, just a part of her. And some day, we will be able to answer the question of "Does she eat table foods?" with a victorious, resounding "Yes!" That will be all the proof I need that we can overcome and work through Autism. It's a fight that I'm willing to fight with my beautiful Princess.

A Confessional To My Princess

Bonjur, Lovelies. Today, I thought I'd sit down and jot a few thoughts to the Princess. And since I seem to be in a sharing mood lately-- hence the blog-- I thought I'd share it with you too.


To My Beautiful Princess,

First, I'd like to start this letting you know that I am blessed to know you. I'm so proud to say that I'm your mommy. Your adventurous nature keeps me on my toes, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Since you keep me on my toes, I thought you should know some of the things that I do to work around your lovely stubborn streak.

So you know that sippy of milk you get? How you wont drink anything but milk? I'm afraid to say, that's not the whole truth. You see, you can't live on milk. I know you want to, but it's not enough to keep your little body running properly. To keep you happy and to keep my mommy guilt level to a minimum, your cups of milk are mostly half water. I'm sure you've noticed the massive up-tick in diaper changes. That is the result of my actions. And though you can't tell me yet, I'm sure you've noticed maybe a lack of headaches. You seem to be happier in general.

Also, you know those nights where it's really late, and inexplicably immediately after drinking your milk, you feel sleepier? That's because per your doctors orders, there's a little melatonin in there. To be completely honest, it's not really often that happens, mommy usually resolves to wake up whenever you decide it's morning.

You know, while we're on the topic; since you usually do wake up so early in the morning-- Truth be told, I still consider 3 AM night time, and I really wish you'd see eye to eye with me on that.-- is it really necessary to yell at me BEFORE I've had my coffee? You might get a slightly less grumpy mommy.  I mean, I love you and I will continue to put your needs before mine, and this includes coffee. But at some point we need to compromise on what constitutes a reasonable waking hour. I'll throw out a starting point: to your 4 AM, I'll exchange it with 7 AM on school days and 10 AM all other days of the week? No? Well, you think about it and get back to me, would you?

I love you, my wonderful Princess. Remember these final things:

1) You are beautiful inside and out.

2) You are wise beyond your years.

3) You are absolutely brilliant. I've not seen somebody who can figure out how to melt my heart, and wrap me around their little finger quite as well as you.

4) Above all else, know that I am always on your side, by your side.  We may not always see eye to eye, but believe me, everything I do is out of love for you. I may mess up at times, but the underlying motivation is always there.

Love you always,

Mommy

(PS: Stay tuned next time for the letter to the Prince)

Let's Light it up Blue!

Hi, Lovelies! Today, April 2nd, 2013 is World Autism Awareness Day! I thought that in celebration to this, I would write a little about autism. This isn't about the causes of autism, it isn't about whether or not vaccines have a correlation; this is about awareness for the Princess and every boy and girl who have or will be diagnosed with Autism. We'll start with a few facts about autism.

According toAutism Science Foundation, in 2012 approximately 1 in 88 children was diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder (ASD). That's 1 in 54 boys, and 1 in 252 girls that are affected by some sort of spectrum disorder. This can include an entire range from Asperger syndrome to a moderate to severe version of autism. Between 30-50% of these individuals with autism will have seizures. One thing to always remember is that individuals who with ASD do suffer cognitive impairments, but some have typical or above average IQs.

There's also been a lot of great progress recently in research into autism. From Autism Speaks, here are things that we have learned since this day in 2012:

• High-quality early intervention for ASD can do more than improve behavioral issues, it can improve brain function.

• While it was previously believed that if a non-verbal child with ASD did not speak before the age of 4-5, they would likely never speak. We now know that this is NOT the case. Research has shown that most will learn to use words, and up to half will learn to speak fluently.

• Though autism can be a life-long affliction, some children with ASD make so much progress, that they no longer meet the diagnostic criteria for autism. High-quality early intervention may be key.

• Researchers can now detect presymptom markers for ASD in infants as young as 6 months. This can lead to earlier intervention and ultimately improve outcomes.

There are some things that we do know. No two children with ASD are alike. There may be similarities, sure. Sleep issues are common, as well as a number of other possibilities. But as a standard, each child with ASD has different challenges, different strengths. Some are more visual. Others are hands-on. The severity, the triggers, the causes; each one is different for each child. The one common factor is early intervention. The sooner the better.

I'll finish this with a note to any parent out there who may be having any concerns over their young child's development: If you have concerns, talk to your pediatrician. If nothing else than to squelch your inner nagging voice. It's OK. You're not alone. Reach out. You do not have to go through any of this alone. Ever. I've been where you are now. I still consider myself pretty new to this whole process; but one thing I can tell you from some experience is the early intervention helps, and suddenly, you have a team of loving people who want to help you with your little one.
Let's Light it Up Blue for Autism Awareness!

The Bitching Hour

Hola, my Lovelies. Today, I'd like to take you to a special time. One that I know all too well. The time when the world has slowed down to a snails pace. The sky is dark, all is quiet and peaceful. Except in my house. This is a time I like to call "The Bitching Hour."

After a full day of eating, changing diapers, playing endless games of peek-a-boo and many a meltdown had and dealt with. It's 11pm; the house is quiet, the Prince and the Princess are asleep. Finally, you think to yourself, I can get some rest too. So you set to your nightly routine get yourself snuggled up, close your eyes and drift away to the dreamland with the idea of waking up first thing bright and early, birds chirping and the sun is shining.

*Thud, thud, thud* It's a familiar sound, but since it ceases quickly, I'm not quite roused from my sleep. *Thud, thud, thud* My eyes fly open. I heard it that time, I know it! Shift my eyes to my clock. 2 am. Great. My poor downstairs neighbors didn't see us coming when we moved in. The crying starts, which is accompanied by the same *thud, thud, thud*. That sound is the Princess' heels being pounded into the floor like it was her worst enemy. As if to say, "If I am awake, then everyone will be awake too!"

I set about my tasks of figuring out exactly what it is that is bothering the Princess. Diaper-- check. Light on-- check. *Thud, thud, thud* Light off-- check. That didn't work. Is it time to eat? Usually, at this time of night, if she is hungry for a late night snack, it's going to be a fight. The way she thrashes and screams in her high chair-- yes high chair, at 3 years old. She's a creature of habit, after all.-- you'd think I was feeding her something so foul that it might as well be liver and onions-- Or whatever you despise as a food-- even though it's the same baby food she's eaten every day of her life since she started solids.

That seems to settle things a little. Check the time, it's 3 am. We settle on a movie and attempt to get things settled. This, of course works only for a short while, as soon I hear: *Thud, thud, thud*. Crap. 'My poor neighbors' I think. 'I really need to bake them something delicious, or better yet, buy them a vacation away for a while.' If only I could afford that, I'd be taking it! I digress. Now it's time to get the Princess a fresh cup of milk. In the only cup she'll drink from. First, I have to find it.

We settle on a different movie, because suddenly, this one is not keeping her happy. When she starts to cry again, I'm at a loss. What can it possibly be, besides sleep? And how is it possible for the Prince and the King to snore peacefully through all of this? I change the diaper, set up her 'nest' in the middle of the floor-- Sometimes she doesn't want to sleep in her bed, so we get her as comfy with lots of blankets and pillows. It angers her less to have the choice to sleep on her bed or on the floor. Turn off the light, again. Really I feel like we should have a timed strobe light in there so that it can turn on and off at her pace.

Finally, it's quiet again. I've tamed the beast. The Princess is asleep peacefully again. Look at the time, 5 am. Only three hours this time. I've seen her stay up until noon before. This isn't bad. I'm awake, but decide to lay on the couch for maybe a couple of minutes of shut eye. As I close my eyes, and start to drift peacefully to a doze, I hear another familiar sound. The Prince is crying. He's up. Look at the clock: 5:30am. Whelp. I guess my day has just begun.