Same World, Different Dimensions

Bonjur, Lovelies! In my limited free time, I tend to watch videos online. Mostly things that entertain me, make me think or just give me a laugh. I also watch different videos on autism, people with autism and signs of autism. A lot of them give me hope, they really empower me to empower the Princess. Sometimes they make me cry.

There's one girl whom I follow with autism, who is non verbal but has found a way to get her voice out into the world. She uses her computer to type out her thoughts, and you'd be amazed at what this girl has to say. This lets me know that regardless of if the Princess can yet verbalize to me her emotions, her wants or needs, that they're in there. I really do try to bring myself to the Princess' world as much as I possibly can. Until recently, I thought I was doing a pretty OK job. Turns out, I think I was wrong.

The video that I watched was entitled "Carly's Cafe" and in it, you are Carly-- The girl whom I was speaking about earlier-- sitting with your sister and father in a cafe. You want a coffee, but can't seem to express that very basic want. In turn, you get hot chocolate. The video gets chaotic as your senses go haywire. By the end of this video, I was sobbing. It was my proof that I was not doing a good job of trying to get myself into the Princess' world.-- If you'd like to watch the video, you can do so here.-- That no matter how hard I tried, I just wasn't getting it.

Let me give you an example of where I think I go wrong:

The Princess is hungry. She looks to me as she tries to convey this very message. This is how I imagine it goes if we were looking at it from her perspective.

Princess: "I'm Hungry, Mommy."

Me: "What's going on? Do you need a new diaper?"-- Proceed to change diaper.

P: "No, Mommy. I'm hungry."

M: "Hm, well that didn't work. A new movie then."-- Changes movie.

P: "Well thank you, but really Mommy, I'm hungry. Can we eat now?"

M: "Would you like a cup of milk? OK, I'll get you one."

P: "Great thanks, Mommy. At least you're trying."-- Drinks milk, but moments later is finished.

P: "OK, I'm really hungry."

M: "Are you hungry? Let's get you something to eat."

P: "Finally."

How it really came out-- don't worry, I wont go as long this time:

P: *Smile, giggle*

M: "Do you need a new diaper?"

P: *Smile, giggle* a few seconds later, *Scream, kick*

M: "New movie?"

P: *Scream, kick* *Smile, giggle* *Scream, kick*

You get the point. The point is, I try. I do my very best, but still it isn't enough. I wish I could figure out instantaneously what the Princess needs. I'm no mind reader. I can only do my best to interpret each sound, cry or smile. I'm not perfect. I have plenty of room for improvement. I will continue to do my best, to learn more, to improve.

Really, we're not in two different worlds, as I had originally imagined it to be. We're both living in the same world, just different dimensions. We just need to figure out a way to bridge the gap. Together we can. I know I'm trying and I'm sure the Princess is too. We'll just find our middle ground eventually.