Double Standards

Good day, Lovelies. You know, there's one thing that's been weighing on my mind lately. Pretty heavily. I think it's something that I still need to overcome in my journey with raising my little royals. It's those stinking double standards.

We all do it. We try not to. Alas, we still end up comparing our children. Whether it's comparing siblings to one another, or comparing our children to those of others. It's a secret, subconscious urge and we're all prone to it. That's OK. I find that because the Princess has autism and the Prince is typically developing, I tend to worry that I'm holding them to some kind of a double standard that they'll never be able to overcome.

For instance, I take a lot of pictures of my children. I love them, I'm constantly captivated by their beauty and how it's a perfect mix of the King and I. And they came from ME. I share pictures. Then I wonder: "Am I taking and sharing more pictures of the Princess than the Prince because she can run around?" OK, that's really not the best example. But I still wanted to share that quick thought.

The best example is in their development. I love celebrating trying new things, successful attempts or not. I rejoice in each time they've been working on something and it finally clicks for them. I share these moments with friends and family. The type of celebrations really differ for each of them. To the world, I rejoice as the Prince faces and defeats a new milestone: "The Prince stood up today!", "He said his first word!", "He LOVES to eat!"

The Princess, on the other hand; well, I usually feel like she gets the poopy end of the stick-- if you will-- on the celebration. Don't get me wrong. I tell everybody who knows and loves her of all the new things she's doing: "She started to chew food!", "The Princess is running!", "We're trying stairs now!". But I don't shout them from the rooftops. It's not because I'm ashamed. By no means will I ever be ashamed of my daughter.

It's because not as many understand why this would all be so exciting. Especially when I'm shouting this about my three year old. By now she should have already hit those milestones. At least, that's the common mentality. I do have hope that the mentality will change, I see it starting to. But now, I'm actually looking.

The other area the double standard shows up is in discipline. The Princess expresses her emotions very differently. She is unable to tell us when she is in need of something as simple as eating, or if she needs a diaper change. Or any of the range of needs in between. Her solution is to lash out in the loudest, biggest way possible. During a mealtime, if she is upset she thrashes in her high chair. The Prince sees this, and thinks it looks fun; his next meal time he rocks in the chair. The Princess will hit octaves in her screams that are near glass-shattering. So will the Prince.

The question that often pops into my head is "How do I teach the Prince that how the Princess handles her emotions is because she has no other way to express them. They're not OK tactics for you to try." I'm working on it. I'll always work on it. I think as he gets older, he'll start to understand better. But in the meantime, I'll keep working on overcoming this issue with double standards.